


i see sparks fly

by aymr



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complicated Relationships, Early in Canon, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aymr/pseuds/aymr
Summary: what if it was addison who left manhattan instead of derek? what if it was addison who flew to seattle and became the new attending at seattle grace? what if... it was addison who met meredith in the bar instead?





	1. in which meredith receives an unexpected visit from her past

**Author's Note:**

> i'm debating if i would turn this into a whole series or if i would just let it remain as a stand alone. let me know your thoughts!

Networking, socials, functions -- whatever. They were all things she loved, things she enjoyed until the escalation of her mother's condition. The condition that urged her into pursuing medicine. After torturous years sitting in the classroom, being lectured by her dearly, beloved, instructors, she finally made it... here; right where her mother once practiced surgery. If anything, she hated how much pressure was already being exerted upon herself.

'Grey? Like Ellis Grey? She's amazing!'  
'You're Ellis' daughter right?'

Blah, blah, blah. That was how she spent her whole night, listening to people praise her mother -- her mother that nobody knew was losing her memory. This aggravated her on a visceral level but it also paralyzed her intensely. What was she supposed to do? Her mother made revelations in her field. Her mother was phenomenal and her? Not too many years ago she could barely even remember the material on her exams because she was so hungover from the night before. Now she was supposedly, magically, be able to fulfill her mother's legacy? 

It was all too much.

"Shot of tequila, please." Meredith swallows her previous shot, slamming the shot glass on the wooden bar counter. Her eyes looked intensely at Joe, ushering him to give her another shot. Even if the time between this shot and whenever her next shot was, it was too long to wait. "Please."

"Straight tequila?" There was an intrigue in Joe's voice. He poured her a shot anyways. "You are gonna be sorry in the morning."

"I am  _always_ sorry in the morning. But, tomorrow I start my first day at work... keep 'em coming." Meredith raised her glass, to herself mostly, before taking the shot. 

"Mojito, please." A voice chimed in beside the soon-to-be intern at Seattle Grace. Meredith turned her eyes and could not help but to find them drawn to the bright red tresses that overtake her peripheries. 

Their eyes met.

The other woman smiled at her.

Meredith flushed. She smiled nervously back at the other woman. 

"Is this a good place to hang out?" The red head asked as she nodded graciously at the bartender. 

"Uh...I wouldn't know..." Meredith trailed off, eyes averting the other before finishing her shot of tequila. She was never the type to be flustered around people, especially not like this. Yet, somehow... there was an aura about this other woman that left her paralyzed. "...Never been here before."

Addison only smiled, pulling the straw against her lips. Allowing there for a moment of silence between the two as she tasted the mojito she ordered. It wasn't that good, at least not as good as the one in the bar close to her practice --  _well,_ old practice now. Amused at how easily flustered the younger woman seemed to be, she could not help but to push her buttons a little more. After all, this would help her get her mind off of Derek and things that have happened between a week ago and her move to Seattle.

"I'm new to Seattle. Never been here before but y'know, new job... new life. Yeah." She smiled, her eyes crinkled before setting the glass on the coaster. 

Meredith wasn't sure how to respond. Maybe it was her vain side, or maybe it was real - but it sure felt like that woman was hitting on her. She didn't mind it, if that was the case. After all, it was a high form of compliment at the end of the day. However, she knew for a fact she wasn't interested in getting picked up by another arrogant skater-boy tonight. This, might be nice. She liked it. She liked looking at the other woman. She liked looking at the rich shade of her lipstick. She liked the way how her hair seemed to be in perfect waves and ringlets. 

But, Meredith was also a deeply secretive person. She didn't like getting close nor intimate with people - at least, on the emotional level. So she kept her head down, pretending as if the music drowned out the other woman's comment. After all, that was much easier to do than to actually confront her. 

"Are you ignoring me -- oh! I'm so sorry. I, uhm, I'm not hitting on you." Now, it was  _her_ turn to be flustered. And Meredith didn't even have to do anything, all she did was play aloof. Addison's cheeks at this point were about as rosy as the hues of her hair. Clearing her throat, she pulled the glass of mojito over, finishing it without any hesitation.

In that moment, Meredith could not help but to giggle. 

"Well I was. Well, was  _trying_ to at least." The blonde woman shook her head. She swivelled her chair, allowing her body to face Addison. One arm resting on the bar counter, she found herself leaning towards the other. "But I am curious. If - let's say you  _were_ hitting on me. Would that be so bad?"

Her words oozed of confidence. Meredith knew that she was hot. She knew that she would be a catch. She knew that there would be men and women that would want to get into her pants and she was absolutely not ashamed nor embarrassed to know that fact. In some senses, she almost relished in the other's silence. This meant, less questions and maybe more action (if that was what she was feeling, of course). 

Addison only chuckled, albeit with slight discomfort. Her brow lofted high, head tilted, intrigued by the blonde before her. Carefully, she watched her; taking in every detail of Meredith before herself. Then, she simply smiled back. 

"No -- not at all... actually, maybe I am. Maybe I'm not," Addison responded. "How 'bout this: I buy you a drink. We talk. If - only saying the hypothetical - you're not interested, we can pretend this never happened. How's that sound?"

"Why 'only the hypothetical' are you saying, if I get to know you, I'll fall in love with you?" Meredith, raising her eyebrows now intrigued at the challenge.  
"If that's how you'd like to interpret it, sure." Addison waved down Joe the bartender. "Straight tequila right? Smart choice. I've once heard a rich manhattanite claim that if you only drink tequila, you wouldn't get hangovers. Not sure how true that is."

Meredith remained silent.

"So I told you my story. What's your story?" Addison raised a brow, passing over the three shots of tequila over at Meredith's general direction.  
"Don't have one. Just a girl at the bar." Meredith responded coyly.  
"That line doesn't work. We're both women."  
"That makes us  _both_ girls at the bar, then."

More silence between them. Addison was now on her fourth drink. Now, was the phase where she was more talkative and physically affectionate. 

"I'm Addison by the way." Her words, slightly slurred but still nonetheless, coherent. "Could I at least get your name?"

Meredith smiled. She leaned a little closer towards the other. 

"I'm Meredith." 

The rest of the night seemed to go by quickly. There was laughter, smiles, but no personally information shared between the two woman. Somewhere in the midst of all the tequila shots, and other types of liquor, the awkward beginnings seemed to have been forgotten. It was going to be a long week. Meredith knew it. She knew it well. She knew if her mother was lucid she would be disappointed to see her daughter flirting with another woman. But, Meredith didn't seem to care.

At least it was the case when she found her fingers tangled in Addison's hair. She loved the feeling of her hair. Perhaps, she had forgotten how soft women's hair could be versus the coarse, gruffness of men. Addison smelled nice, like a fresh bouquet of roses with sweet notes of strawberry lingering amongst them. Her eyes met Addison's briefly, her fingers still gingerly touching her hair, her cheek. Then, before she could even respond: Addison kissed her. 

Maybe it was because this was her first kiss since Seattle - or the first time she kissed a girl since her undergrad. Regardless of what it was, she had a feeling that she would remember this the morning she woke up. 

> _The game, they say a person either has what it takes to play or they don't._
> 
> _My mother was one of the greats, me on the other hand,_
> 
> _I'm kinda **screwed**._

The blaring 6AM alarm goes off. Meredith finds her vision slowly fading into visibility. There was a grogginess that carried into her - the pounding headache, a surefire signal of a hangover.  _So that lady lied,_ why was she not surprised? After all, spewing pseudoscience seemed to have gained its popularity in recent years. She couldn't really blame her for saying wrong things, especially while drunk. Now, coming into a more lucid state, she found herself aching all over. Her back ached, her neck ached, her muscles were sore... and she was naked on her living room floor. 

Meredith groaned. Her blonde tresses tousled, her looks dishevelled. She saw the time, and she panicked.  _Fuck, she was going to be late._ She looked beside her, noticing a woman - naked, too, wrapped in her sheets. There was no time for questions despite the fact that she had one too many. Hovering over the red head, she shook her body until the other woke up. Then, from her couch she threw the black cocktail dress at her.

"You need to leave," Meredith said sternly.  
"You're kicking me out? But I'm naked!" Addison retorted.  
"No I'm serious! I'm going to be late for work and I need you gone!" 

Addison chuckled as she slipped into her dress. It was almost effortless for her as she found the closest reflective surface. She fixed her lipstick and her hair before taking her purse with her. 

"See you around, Meredith." 

Meredith would've screamed behind her, rejecting the idea that they would ever meet again. But alas, she had no time. Somehow, it would be a miracle for her to make it to the first day of work on time. Thankfully, she lived close enough to the hospital. 

After being yelled at by Bailey, she found herself moving closer to the assigned case. 

"What? You belong to the new attending now. Doctor Montgomery, she's over there." Bailey delegated before slipping out of the room.

 _No, no, no, no, no!_ Meredith's eyes widen at the sight of a  _very_ familiar set of red hair. One that she could still remember vividly from the night before. Oh god, no. She dreaded this. She dreaded the jinx. It was as if all time had stopped and she just, wanted to leave. So, maybe that would be exactly what she -- oh no, Addison had her eyes on Meredith's. Thus, despite her position as an intern, the person who now does whatever the attending tells them to do, Meredith turned around and  _tried_ to leave the room. 

"You're the intern right?" Addison addressed her, very professionally, nonetheless. Her hand outstretched. "I'm Dr. Montgomery. Head of Neonatal Surgery. You must be Meredith Grey."   
"Uh, yeah. Hi. Hello. That's me. Nice to meet you, Dr. Montgomery," Meredith stammered over her words but still, took the other woman's hand nonetheless. "Is there anything I could do?"   
"Yeah. We are just about to run some tests. If you would like to join me, please do." 

As they moved down the halls of the hospital, the two of them fell behind everyone else. Meredith, flustered grabbed the other woman's coat sleeve, pulling herself to her ear side. 

"You never told me you worked here."  
"And you never asked."

That rendered Meredith speechless. Because it was true. She never asked her. Still, it didn't change the fact that what happened last night would be rendered as heavily inappropriate between the two of them. 

"Also, you never told me your mother is Ellis Grey," Addison noted smugly. "That makes us  _even._ " 

"That is hardly the same --" 

Then, a pat on her shoulders as Addison walked in front of Meredith and then opened the door to the lab.

 _This couldn't be._ How could of all the people she could've slept with in Seattle, she slept with an attending?

This was beyond frustrating. 


	2. in which meredith performs her first c-section

After the scramble into the lab and reporting the results back to the mother about her premature infant, the family made a decision to conduct a c-section. It was Meredith's first day after all. Her role wasn't much but to observe the attending as she managed to calm the mother from a panic attack and simultaneously get her job done. There was something about the way how Addison worked with the family that drew intrigue for Meredith. But she knew she didn't want to work in the field of OB/GYN. Her mother would be so disappointed her, if she even dared considered that as a path. 

"Alright, so we've scheduled a c-section for you in an hour. Remember our basic protocol Mrs. White?" Addison smiled at the patient, who looked unsure of the situation. Reassuring her, she held her hand, squeezing it briefly. "You're going to be just fine. Your baby is healthy, albeit a little premature, but healthy nonetheless."

Meredith watched the way how the teary eyed mother thanked Addison Montgomery repeatedly as she signalled for Meredith to leave the room. She followed suite, walking into the halls with Addison. 

"Ever seen a c-section?"  
"Only on video."  
"Good, today's your lucky day."

When Meredith heard Addison's words, her throat grew tight. She knew what they did. Addison knew what they did. Some part of her could not accept that. She didn't want the other interns to judge her for receiving favours -- even though, intellectually she knew that wasn't going to happen again. People couldn't find out about what happened between her and Addison... it would be bad press for the hospital. Two women sleeping together would be deemed way too controversial, even in a city like Seattle. 

"Uhm Dr. Montgomery I don't think I should," Meredith managed, albeit with some tones of hesitance in her voice.

Aggravated, Addison rolled her eyes, lolled her head to the side before flipping her red lock. Her arms folded across her chest. Her blue eyes hardening at the sight of the intern. "Why not? Because you think you're too  _good_ for a c-section? With all due respect Dr. Grey, this is your first day. As an intern! So if you don't want to scrub in, I'll just find another intern. I'm sure there are plenty out there who would want to."

Meredith felt her heart stop a beat. Her eyes cowered, petrified by the other woman's words. 

"N-No... that's not it. It's just that--"  
"We slept together? Is this, what  _this_ is about?" Addison quipped, not mincing her words at the slightest. She did look offended at even the suggestion of this, however. "Look. We had a good time but -- it's not going to happen again. Got it? Me giving you this opportunity is not because of any type of favouritism."

Meredith remained silent. The reality dawned upon her. She knew, she knew intellectually that they could not repeat what they had done last night ever again. Yet, somehow, hearing it from the other hurt all the more. But this was for the best. It meant that Addison was someone who could draw her boundaries... it meant that Addison saw her more than someone who would go down on her in the on-call room. This was good for her -- for them. Yet, somehow, it felt like a breakup. But how could they break up if their relationship never once existed?

"Listen, Meredith," her voice became softer. Her arms grasping her shoulders. Those blue eyes softening, showing the very same tender nature that she showed the pregnant woman in the room inside. "If it'll make things easier for you -- I can call another intern. But I trust my judgement, and you should too."

The perks of the interns socialization was that everyone  _dreaded_ OB/GYN more than anything. Nobody even wanted to touch a baby -- well, except for that neurotic blonde girl (Izzie, was her name, she believed). Regardless, at some point during her career she would probably have to go on a rotation and deal with it anyways. Might as well deal with it as soon as she could. Meredith wasn't about to let up on an opportunity to scrub in, even if it was a c-section.

"Alright. I'll do it," She smiled at Addison, albeit faintly.   
"That's what I thought. Alright, let's get Mrs. White into the OR." 

Just as Meredith was about to go in to prepare the patient for the operation, she found herself swarmed by a group of interns. Suddenly, all those disinterested, was interested in a measly c-section. Desperation reeked from their bodies, and Meredith had no time to deal with them.

"Hey, heard you're scrubbing in." Izzie noted, there was a hint of envy in her voice.  
"Yeah, for a c-section. It's hardly a surgery," Alex scoffed.  
"Well at least she's getting  _some_ I'd die for even an appendix removal at this point," Cristina mourned.

Deep breath in Meredith, deep breath in. She paused for a moment before turning to her fellow peers. 

"With all due respect, we're a little busy here and I need to prep Mrs. White for her c-section," Meredith groaned as she began pushing the patient out of the room. "Please move."

As Meredith prepped the patient for her c-section, she began the process of scrubbing in. First she washed her hands, not noticing Addison was beside her.

"Nervous?" Addison asked, as she thoroughly cleaned her neatly trimmed digits.  
"Yeah. It's my first time scrubbing in," Meredith responded.  
"Don't be. It's just a c-section. As long as there's no complications, we'll be fine."

After that brief exchange, Addison raised her hand and walked through the door. Meredith wasted no time dallying as she followed suite very quickly, following Addison into the operation room. There was something about Addison being a smart woman that seemed to have intrigued her even more. Yet, she knew better than to engage the attending in some sorts of sordid affairs. Breathing in deeply as she had her hands dried, Meredith closed her eyes, envisioning the healthy baby that they were going to retrieve. Everything was going to be fine. 

"Everything is going to be okay. Right Dr. Grey?" 

There was an instinctual nod. Everything was going to be alright. She was going to be alright. The mother was going to be alright. Her baby girl was going to be alright. 

After the c-section Meredith found herself leaving the OR almost immediately. She haphazardly removed her scrub cap, removing her mask before finding the closest supply closet. Immediately, the tears started from her eyes. The adrenaline of being in the surgical room was too much. The way how Addison acted as if they were strangers was hurtful. She knew, it was because she was professional. She knew it was because their relationship -- or their affairs was inappropriate. Yet, that wouldn't ease the pain of being treated as if she was invisible. 

Scrubbing in was a mistake and she knew it. Leaving the OR immediately was also a mistake. After all, Dr. Montgomery probably had something for her to do. It was unprofessional of her to be crying in a supply closet. Meredith was first and foremost a doctor before anything else. Thus, she stood up, wiped her tear stained cheeks before walking into the world of the hospital again. 

As she turned around, her eyes locked with Addison's.

"Dr. Grey! I've been looking for you. C'mon, we need someone observing Mrs. White and her daughter," Addison delegated, then turned on her heels and walked away from her.

Meredith looked at where she was in the hospital and found her way back to the patient's room. It was maybe two hours of surgery, tops, but more than twenty hours of observation on both ends. She knew this was why every intern in the hospital avoided this like the plague. Why did Bailey had to assign her to Dr. Montgomery of all people? She hated this. She hated how she had to look at a very steady chart and that this was going to be her life for the next few days. No, she didn't get anything exciting like cardiothoracic or neuro -- no, she had to watch a new born and her mother. 

There was a degree of resentment she had built up for her attending already. But, it was her job. It was all apart of the program. This was barely hour twelve yet. The first forty eight hours had not yet passed. And she knew, she was going to be here for a very long time. 

Every hour, she checked for the mother's vitals. Every half hour she took a strategic bathroom break. Meredith hadn't eaten yet, and honestly, she forgot to. For the next few hours she was running purely on caffeine and adrenaline. Running between the baby and the mother was having a toll on her, but, the hours passed by quick enough for her to forget the brimming sunshine that she saw so many people dramatically say goodbye to the day before. 

Then the doorknob shifted. Meredith immediately feeling alert, straightened her posture, her eyes darting at what was at the door. Her heart stopped once again when she saw the head of red tresses. The hair she remembered pulling on the night before, the hair she remembered that felt so soft and smooth in between her fingers. Maybe she was tired, but she was suddenly more acutely aware of how Addison smelled. In ways, she was intoxicated; maybe in other ways, she was really just tired. 

"Dr. Grey, how is everything?" Addison popped in with a smile, her eyes darting over at the mother.  
"Her vitals are stable. Nothing unusual. The baby is doing well... she's a strong girl. Both are doing well."   
"Good, good," Addison let out a relieved sigh. "How're you doing?"

Meredith didn't answer. Her eyes looking away from Addison, her inhaling deeply before mustering a smile with the best of her ability. "Good. I'm good. I'm fine."

Addison raised her brow in disbelief. Meredith at her reaction rolled her eyes, tossing her hands into the air almost theatrically. 

"I'm fine," she exclaimed.  
" _Meredith._ " There it was, the word that caused her universe to spin. The word that caused her mind to recall inappropriate moments... whilst she was in the workplace. She simultaneously loved and hated the way how she said her name. She hated how lovely her name seemed to roll off Addison's tongue -- she couldn't handle it.   
"I'm fine," she reassured. 

Addison looked over at the patient, then at Meredith. Cautiously, she motioned for Meredith to follow her. Carefully, she lead the intern into the nearest stairwell. When the coast was clear, Addison spoke again:

"Nobody goes into the supply closet because they're fine. Now, I'm going to ask you again: how're you doing?"

Meredith went silent once again. Her breathing heavy, her tongue tied, and she could only shake her head. "Why do you care?"

The look on Addison's face was a puzzling look. Her hand holding against the raising, stabilizing herself against it. "Because you're my intern. Because you did your first c-section. That's why, I care."

Those words seemed to have triggered something deep within Meredith because she lost her composure. Meredith couldn't stop her laughter, it was almost hysterical as she continuously hyperventilated in her presence. She knew crying in front of Addison was embarrassing. Addison was the last person she wanted to cry in front of -- yet, she could not stop this panic attack from overtaking her. So she cried and cried, her knees started to grow weak as her hands clenched onto the railing. 

"Meredith."  _No response._  
_"Meredith?" Still none._  
_"Meredith!" Meredith was sniffling._

Suddenly, she was holding her - arms wrapped around her shoulders, her other hand holding Meredith's hand. Her eyes were concerned for the other. She held her tight as she thrashed in her chest, as she cried. She held her until she finally calmed down. 

Pulling away from Addison, Meredith haphazardly attempted to regain her poise and composure. 

"...Sorry about that. That will never happen again." Meredith apologized to a confused looking Addison.  
"For what? For feeling overwhelmed after your first surgery?"

Meredith did not respond. Her body shifted uncomfortably, slinking down along the wall until she reached the bottom. Looking up at Addison, she put on a neutral face for her.

"You know, at first... it was such a high. The sutures, the scalpels, closing -- everything... it was,  _exhilarating._ " Meredith trailed off, her eyes looking off into the distance. "It felt so good, but I don't know why I'm feeling like... like  _this._ Y'know?"

There was a sympathetic nod from the attending. Addison crouched down, outreaching her arm and rubbing against her shoulder. She smiled widely, almost proudly at the intern. 

"You did well. You're very talented and I'm sure whichever field you pick would be lucky to have you." She spoke, as she pushed the stray strands of hair behind her ears. "You're going to be just fine, Meredith." 

Then Addison stood up and moved towards the door. But before she left, she turned her head to Meredith briefly. "Keep observing them. If you get tired get a nurse to take over. If anything happens, page me. I'll see you around."

Meredith sat there for a brief moment, watching Addison leave her field of vision before resuming to her task at hand. 


	3. in which addison receives an unexpected gift

_"...Please leave a message after the tone."_

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, you have to call me back. I need to know if you signed the divorce papers or not -- do you even know that I'm gone? Did you even notice? Look, I get it. I fucked up and I'm sorry. But could you at least sign the divorce papers. It's the least I deserve. Call me back when you do -- or don't. Just let me know that you signed them."

 _Beep._ There ended that awful phone call. It had been the umpteenth time Addison had called him: her ex-husband, who she cheated on with his best-friend. It wasn't great. It was a mistake. It was so much of a mistake that she considered going blonde, but luckily, the impulse of flying to Seattle overcame the urge to become a bottle blonde first... otherwise, she was going to live with the fact that everyone thought she was blonde when in reality she was a red head. 

Shifting her attention back onto her case files, she noticed that it was going to be a busy day. The breakfast she had by the Space Needle this morning was going to be her last meal for a while and she was glad that she ate so much before coming into work. Two c-sections, two natural births, and a hysterectomy - it was all pretty standard, really but that wasn't accounting for the fact how some women go into early labour, sometimes the ER would send a pregnant woman her way. Addison knew better than to expect her schedule to be normal. 

"...Addison," there was a knock by her door. She looked up, it was Richard Webber.  
"Richard!" She exclaimed, putting her case files back into the order she found them in. Her blue eyes looked at the Chief of Surgery, there was a glimmer of hesitation. Addison knew Richard well enough that it was most likely personal versus professional.

His eyes said it all. The slight roll, the confusion, and the frustration. There was a lot going on for him -- emotionally. However, instead of sitting in the chair across from her desk, he stood from her door. Eyes softening, as if channeling the paternal love he once had for her. He was her mentor at one point. If not for him, she wouldn't have gotten this far -- and of course, her mentor that she later on surpassed that was.

"Are you and Derek really getting a divorce?"  
"...Yeah." Addison hesitated.

He nodded. Seemingly he registered what was going on. His face clearly had so many more questions but Addison wasn't going to indulge him in the nitty gritty details as to why she was divorcing him. 

"Addison, marriage is about work it's --"  
"How's Adele? I haven't seen her in forever!" 

Addison knew that was a sore spot for him. Any mentions of his wife generally had him quiet, and that was precisely what she needed. She didn't need her mentor asking for the juicy details of her failed marriage. She didn't want to share that with anyone. Besides, whatever those eleven years were... they were going to be over soon. It did sadden her but she knew it was better to nip it in the bud -- or whatever it would be at this stage -- before things further devolved. When Derek threw her and her things out of the house, that was when she knew. Derek didn't care anymore and that was what devastated her even more.

So it made sense for why she didn't want to talk about it.

There was a smile on her lips as she watched Richard stammer. She knew it wouldn't take long before he left her alone in the name of surgery -- which, was plausible. But Addison on a certain level knew it was because he didn't want to talk about Adele. People who have marital problems never want to talk about their own problems yet somehow want to talk about everyone else's. It was a strange phenomena, that was for sure. 

* * *

 

A groggy Meredith Grey walked through the entrance of Seattle Grace Hospital, coffee in her hand and with eye bags etched underneath her eyes. It was a long shift, being scrubbed into surgeries in cardiothoracic, watching the little babies that she helped deliver, and of course managing the pit. It was a long shift and she wasn't sure if eight hours was even enough sleep to make up for all the sleep she had lost. She knew she was at the bottom of the surgical food-chain. But nevertheless, she could not hope for her intern exam to come any sooner. 

The door of the elevator being stopped suddenly caught her off guard. Her brow raised, noticing that it was Addison Montgomery.  _Well,_ this was awkward. She had a borderline panic attack in front of her the last time they saw each other. Thus, Meredith refused to acknowledge the attending. 

"Hey did you know that there are ferryboats in Seattle?"  
Meredith rolled her eyes. "We're surrounded by water. Of course we do."

 _Silence._ Addison shifted almost uncomfortably. She really wanted to make conversation with Meredith but she was difficult. It felt like a chase, a challenge almost and even if she was fighting the urge not to pursue and inappropriate relationship with her... it was becoming harder to do that. She was her attending and she knew that. But it didn't mean they couldn't be friendly, right? 

"I--I didn't think I would like Seattle. Being raised in New York you're kinda conditioned to hate any other cities that wasn't New York--"  
"Dr. Montgomery we don't have to do this."   
"Do what?"  
"This. Having awkward elevator conversation. You're an attending and I'm an intern. Nothing more."

That was true. But there was something about wanting what she couldn't have. It was akin to the feeling of wanting Derek when he was falling out of love with her. She would do anything to get a response from him... even if it meant sleeping with Mark out of sheer desperation. Perhaps, Derek's heartbreak wasn't enough to save their marriage because his heartbreak wasn't really a heartbreak; but rather, it was a look of sheer disappointment. The opposite of being loved by Derek Shepherd wasn't hatred. It was dispassion. 

But Meredith Grey. She was different. She was feisty and despite her denial, definitely still interested in her. 

"You know it's important to establish a rapport with the people who could work in your OR," Addison stated plainly, her eyes watching as the elevator slowly passing each floor of the building. There was a certain smugness painted across her scarlet lips. She knew she was right and she knew, that what she said was undeniably true.

Within moments between the disinterest to the disbelief, time seemed to pass by quickly. The thud of the empty coffee cup on the elevator floor, the crashing and thrashing against the wall. Then, it hit her --  _Meredith Grey was kissing her._ By the time she could kiss back, push back, and reassure her position it was over. The intern bent over, picking up what she dropped before walking out of the elevator. Addison was breathless, her lipstick smudged and her hair a little dishevelled. Quickly, she pull out her mirror, fixing the edges of her lipstick and brushing away the loose strands of her hair that stood out of place.

By the time she fixed herself, Meredith Grey was gone.

What the hell was that all about? 

That kiss they shared in the stuffy elevator clouded her mind the whole day. It clouded her mind as she was doing an ultrasound on the happy soon-to-be mother with her lover. It clouded her mind as she watched those women share such love an adoration for one another. Addison Montgomery loved seeing babies, she loved them and she definitely wanted them. But, she always thought she wanted it with Derek. She had always envisioned having a home with him but that was something of the past. Scarlet painted lips curve into a wide smile, telling the couple that their baby boy looked healthy. 

After finishing the ultrasound, she looked at her watch.  _Perfect,_ she had a few minutes to wolf down a sandwich before performing a c-section on a superstitious couple. They were technically due on Friday, which would've made it the thirteenth. It was culturally unlucky and she understood that. She had a cup of hot cocoa, y'know, good juju as a ritual before performing a full day of surgeries and whatnot. 

There she was, Meredith Grey sitting alone eating a sandwich. What a rare sight to see her without Cristina Yang. Addison debated for a solid three seconds before she finally made her move over to the intern. Settling down on the chair beside her, Addison crossed her legs and unwrapped the questionable hospital sandwich. There it was, Meredith Grey's signature eye roll -- and her attempt to escape the attending neonatal surgeon. 

Addison found her fingers almost involuntarily tugging at Meredith's sleeve, giving her a charming smile. 

"Relax. I'm just here to eat my sandwich," Addison said, taking her first bite from the food in her hand. Her eyes locking their gaze with Meredith's -- Meredith's green eyes that sought out to avoid her at every turn. "Besides, you kissed me in the elevator. What was that about?"

"Okay I'm leaving. Dr. Bailey's paging me." Meredith left, despite the fact that her pager didn't go off. It was quite a funny scene to witness. The way how Meredith was so mysterious. The way how she would one minute ram her against the elevator wall, kissing her as if the world was going to end the next day to suddenly acting ice cold, frigid even. Addison definitely wanted to get to know her, unravel this mystery behind her backstory. 

The clock struck 1pm,  _shit_ she was going to be late. Haphazardly she wrapped her half finished sandwich, and ran back to her office as quickly as possible. Dropping her sandwich, and changing out of her heels into some comfortable sneakers, Addison grabbed a hair tie as she headed over to the woman's room. Walking into the room, there stood Bailey and her interns. Briefly, her eyes crossed with Meredith's avoidant ones. Then she looked over at the interns then back at the patient.

"Mrs. Washington, how're you feeling. Big day today." Shifting on her reading glasses, she flipped through her charts, looking at her vitals. Everything seemed fine. It looked like it was going to be a typical c-section today. "Okay...vitals are stable. Everything looks good. Okay. I need someone to prep the OR."

"O'Malley, prep the OR! Stevens, Grey you're with Dr. Montgomery. Yang, you're with Dr. Burke in OR two. Karev, you're with me." Delegated the resident. When the interns didn't move fast enough for her liking, she frowned and yelled, "Move!"

When Bailey left the room with only Izzie and Meredith left with Addison, the attending merely smiled at the two interns.

"Lucky for the two of you, we, have a full house today," she hummed, casting a glance over at Meredith whilst briefly raising a brow at her direction. The suggestive look clearly caused the intern to look rattled because the moment Meredith got her hands on the charts, it was evident that she was trying to make an escape. 

"I'll get the lab results for our hysterectomy. I'll join you soon, Dr. Montgomery," Meredith managed with a smile on her lips, it was more of a twitch but nevertheless, it was awkward.

Addison furrowed her brows slightly, straightening her back.  " Dr. Grey! We're scrubbing in soon. The hysterectomy isn't until four o'clock. Come on, get yourself to the OR. You too, Dr. Stevens." She shook her head, almost storming out of the room as she awaited for her  _lovely_ interns to bring the patient into the operating room she booked for the c-section. 

"Wow, what was that?" Izzie uttered under her breath whilst preparing the patient to be moved into the operating room.  
"No idea. I think she hates me." Meredith rolled her eyes as she said that.   
"Heard people are calling her 'Satan'."  
"Yeah, well. Whatever. C'mon, we have to get Mrs. Washington to the OR." Meredith sighed, before finally managing to get the bed moving. 

As Izzie and Meredith scrubbed in for the procedure, Meredith could not help but to notice the gallery full of eyes looking at her. Some envious, some not so much. Whatever it was, Meredith wasn't interested in what they thought of her. After all, this wasn't her first time doing a c-section. She got this. 

"Dr. Grey."  
"Dr. Montgomery."

They exchanged a brief look. Addison found it nice to have starry eyed interns in her OR, the way how Izzie Stevens in particular looked at her. Maybe she liked babies like she did. Addison didn't know but she definitely wanted to see if she could spark any sort of interest in the other intern.

"Dr. Stevens. Ever done a c-section before?" Addison knew the answer was probably no. But she asked anyways.  
"No, I haven't." Those words were acknowledged by Addison Montgomery.  
"Come over here. Ten blade."

Izzie passed Addison the ten blade before moving over to her side. Watching her as she cut the woman open. There was a look of wonder on her face. Addison was happy to see that. She was happy to see that by the end of the procedure how  _gleeful_ Izzie was to hold that baby in her arms. That, was surgical potential right there. 

"Alright, let's close her up. Dr. Grey, sutures."

* * *

When the c-section was done, Izzie left the OR all giddy and smiling. She held a baby. A living baby in her arms. She helped deliver a baby. Yet, Meredith was the exactly opposite from her. She was disillusioned by such. Sure, it was nice to see a new life be greeted into this world; sure, she loved being the ambassadors to the world for the infants but -- this wasn't her calling and that concerned her. It seemed as if everyone found their calling but her. 

"Nice job in there, Dr. Stevens. Go get yourself a cup of coffee. We have another one later in the evening." 

When Izzie left, Meredith casted Addison a brief look before taking her first steps.

"Meredith!" Addison called after. 

Meredith didn't stop.

"Meredith!"

Meredith went into the stairwell.

"Meredith!" 

She finally managed to successfully cornered her. Her hand around her wrist. Meredith struggled a little bit but Addison was firm, making sure to catch her before she could take flight again. 

"Let me go!" The blonde protested, her emerald gaze hardening; eyes narrowing with annoyance at Addison's persistence. "Dr. Montgomery. Let. Me. Go."

"I will whenever you decide to stop avoiding me."

There was an eye roll from Meredith Grey.

"Fine." 

And so Addison let go. 

"You kissed me today -- in the elevator. What was that about? I'm your attending. We can't do that. Especially not here." Addison stated sternly. It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy being kissed by Meredith. But it was the struggle between doing the right thing and doing what she wanted. There were always an abundance of relationships that happen between residents and attendings, residents and interns, or attendings and interns -- it happened a lot. 

But Addison Montgomery didn't want to be one of those people who has sex with interns in the on-call room. 

Her comment had Meredith dumbfounded. She wasn't speaking, as if she was purposely dragging out the time so she wouldn't respond to it. It was frustrating, but Addison had time before the event in her agenda. She could wait. But Meredith probably couldn't. She was an intern after all and interns are surgery hungry. 

Then as if the stars aligned for Meredith, her pager goes off.

"Uhm, I have to go Dr. Montgomery. It's Dr. Bailey."

Without another comment, Meredith Grey bolted down the staircase, leaving Addison to only look at her until she disappeared from her line of vision.

_How the hell did this happen?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while for me to update with school and writer's block. I hope y'all enjoy this!

Meredith Grey found her group of friends and made her way to merge into the group. Her mind still fresh and hazy from the kiss earlier today. If she was going to be completely honest, she wasn’t sure why she kissed her again… especially considering the fact that there were clear boundaries drawn between the two of them.

 

They can’t be more and they _shouldn’t_ be more than professional.

 

She was an attending and Meredith was an intern. Even if Meredith Grey was certain that she would never in a million years even touch neonatal or OB/GYN, she knew that this was a precarious and dangerous territory to cross.

 

But, she couldn’t get her out of her mind. That red hair of her’s, the red hair that could so easily catch her attention in a room full of people… and the shade of red on her lips, those lips that were almost begging to be kissed – no, she shook her head, snapping herself back into reality, a reality that didn’t involve her fantasizing about Addison Montgomery.

 

“Hey, where did you go?” Cristina asked a clearly, dazed Meredith Grey who could only look up at her with a surprised look on her face.

“Uhm…” At that response, Cristina Yang was clearly not amused. She had the look of impatience as if she didn’t have time. So, Meredith leaned over at her ear and whispered:

 

“I slept with Addison Montgomery.”

 

A brow quirked, Cristina clearly looking amused and glad that she stayed to listen to what Meredith had to say. However, being the nosy interns they were, it was only within her nature to expect Cristina to ask her follow up question:

 

“You slept with McHottie?”

 

“Is that what you guys are calling her now?” Meredith simply laughed, almost scoffing at the newfound nickname. Though, she would say it was better than calling a woman who delivers babies, save babies, and their mothers, Satan.

 

“Well, 007 and I are calling her that. It’ll catch on.” Cristina responded triumphantly until they stopped, with all the interns gathering together in the break room in between their attendings’ surgeries and whatnot.

 

“Hey guys!” Here came a bright and shiny Izzie Stevens, was what Meredith would’ve thought if she wasn’t so out of her mind and fixated on Addison’s goddamn lips.

 

Meredith greeted her weakly, lacking much enthusiasm.

 

“Mer! What’s up? It’s a good day today!”  


“If they put me with Montgomery again I’m going to go insane.” And she didn’t just mean it in the professional sense. “I don’t even like OB/GYN and I’m not even interested in neonatal surgery… What’s with Dr. Bailey putting me on her service? The first surgery I scrubbed into was a c-section.”

 

“I haven’t touched a heart yet.” Cristina chimed in with the same amount of disappointment as Meredith.  
“And I’ve killed a bunch of people.” Called George from the other side of the room.

“I’ve had a pretty good day.” Izzie Stevens said with a smile on her face as the interns glared at her from left and right, staring her down until she cracked. “What?”

 

“…Nothing.” Murmured George as his body slumped, resting on the table.

“All of Montgomery’s schedule is filled with boring things. Like the most interesting item on that list is a hysterectomy – oh, she’s paging me, gotta go.” Meredith hopped off the table she was sitting on at the persistent sound of her pager.

 

By the time she met Addison Montgomery outside of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, she found herself running out of breath – she really need to be doing more cardio intensive sports before she died from a heart attack or something.

 

“You paged?” The blonde panted, her two hands resting on her thighs, whilst doing her best to maintain eye contact with the red head.

“Yes, I have, Dr. Grey.” The red looked up, her crimson framed reading glasses almost falling off of her nose as she gazed at Meredith Grey. _Damn, those looked hot on her._ “Dr. Grey?”

Meredith shook her head, not realizing that she was staring at Addison’s face again. Her cheeks flushed at the call of her name and she simply smile.

Instead of calling her out, Addison simply smiled and passed Meredith the chart.

“Remember the first baby you helped me deliver? We’re going check up on her in the NICU. If everything is fine, we’re discharging the two of them.” There was a pep in her voice, perhaps, a little joyful at the sound of that.

 

So when they entered the NICU, Meredith slowly walked over to where her baby was resting. Her eyes looking at the monitor, then proceeded to take her vitals and temperature. However, just as she was about to take her hand away – the infant came and grabbed onto her finger. In that moment, she could’ve sworn that her heart raced a little bit… it was unexpected but she never felt softness like this in her life. Meredith simply smiled, stood there for a little bit and looked back at Addison.

 

“I’m sorry it’s taking a while. She won’t let go.”

Addison simply smiled at Meredith.

“It means the baby likes you, Dr. Grey. It means she feels safe around you.”

Her heart skipped a beat at Addison’s words, at Addison’s smile.

“Right, uhm. Yeah.” Meredith responded, drawing a thin line onto her lips as she averted her emerald eyes from Addison’s ocean blue ones.

However, Addison simply came forward, walking closer towards the baby to take a look for herself. The two of them were within close proximity of each other, not that it was important or relevant, when there was a baby in their presence.

 

When Meredith looked up, their eyes met. She caught herself staring at Addison’s, noticing how blue her eyes were, noticing the faint smell of her perfume that she was inhaling… it was intoxicating, and it almost felt as if time stopped. Because there would be no reason for the two of them to be staring at one another for so long.

 

Those eyes… they looked safe, they looked kind and before she knew it, they were leaning into one another as if going in for a kiss. However, Meredith paused right before their lips could touch.

 

“We shouldn’t, Dr. Montgomery…”  
“That, wasn’t what you said this morning, Dr. Grey.”

She had a point, that was true. So just as Meredith was about to accept her kiss, eyes closed, head tilted, the NICU door opened causing the two of them to become frazzled. Addison jutted her body the other way, pretending like she was going to give a profound prescription and Meredith yanked her fingers gently away from the baby’s strong grip.

 

“Her grip is strong, her vitals are good, Dr. Montgomery.” Meredith cleared her throat, taking a deep breath in, her cheeks flushed from the events before.  
“Uhm, okay… if everything’s good, then why don’t you deliver the good news, Dr. Grey?”   
“Okay, I’m going to uh, get a nurse…” Before Addison could stop her, she simply turned and ran out of the NICU doors.

After handing the patient the good news, getting multiple hugs and ‘thank you’s, the two of them left the room and simply stood outside for a bit. Meredith was still on her service and she was painfully aware of it. They couldn’t even look at each other properly without it being weird, so Meredith merely pulled a thin line at her lips before turning away and walking.

 

“Meredith wait!” So those telltale words caused the blonde to walk even faster.

“Meredith Grey!” Heels clicked frantically before her, before they turned into a rapid sound that indicated that the red head was running after her.

 

However, before Meredith herself could get up and run, she found herself dragged into the nearest supply closet with Addison Montgomery. Naturally, she looked frazzled and annoyed at all of this.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” The feisty young blonde demanded, her arms thrown up into the air as she tried to leave the supply closet. However, she was almost certain that Addison was actively body blocking her.

“I just want to talk, Meredith. About this morning.”  
“Let. It. Go. Dr. Montgomery – please, there’s nothing to talk about.”

Addison sighed, taking a step forward, backing Meredith Grey further into the supply closet. She looked frustrated, Meredith could see that. But through that frustration she noticed the way how her ocean blue eyes changed its hues – it was kind of hot, the way how she stared at her, how her brows furrowed… _no, Meredith. Don’t you dare!_ She chastised her own thoughts, her eyes quickly gazing away.

 

“One minute you tell me that I’m just your attending and you’re my intern. Then the next you’re pushing me against the elevator, as if you were _this_ close to ripping off my clothes. So yes, there is something to talk about here because you are sending me mixed signals here, Meredith Grey.”

 

The blonde intern froze, remaining in a state of silence before finding an opening and making a run for it. However, Addison was quick. Her hands grabbed onto Meredith’s wrist, locking them with Meredith’s. For a brief moment, the tension hanging between them became evident. For a moment Meredith Grey debated stalking up to her, pushing her against the supplies and ripping that damn white coat and that gorgeous dress off of her. However, before she could, she realized their lips were touching.

 

Addison’s fingers drawing close to her, resting on her hips, other tangled in her hair. The truth was, Meredith thought she was putting up a fight but the reality was that she more than eagerly kissed her back, her eyes closed as she inhaled in the dizzying smell of her perfume. So when they finally pulled apart, her green eyes looked dazed. In that moment, perhaps a little vulnerable too.

 

She was confused, so confused. She knew she shouldn’t be feeling what she was feeling but she couldn’t stop herself. It wasn’t just the fact that Addison was hot, it was the fact that she was intelligent, kind, and so much more. She’d only known her for a few days but Meredith knew that this was a woman that someone could spend a lifetime with – maybe not with Meredith, but someone could definitely spend a lifetime being happy with her.

 

“We shouldn’t be doing this…” Meredith breathed, her lips still only less than a few inches away from Addison’s.  
“You said that the last time, Meredith. Now, I can respect what you want… is this what you want?” She asked, slowly pulling their bodies apart, drawing a respectful distance between the two of them.

 

Meredith remained silent. They stood in silence for a while, Addison looking away from the other, giving her as much space as she could in a supply closet.

 

“I’m getting a divorce. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I am.” Addison finally broke the silence, causing Meredith’s green eyes to narrow, turn steely in its hue too.

“Wait, you’re telling me we committed adultery?” Her voice raised slightly.  
“No, if we’re being technical, _I_ committed adultery,” Addison turned her heels and faced Meredith. “And I’m not divorcing him because of you. It was eleven years of marriage and I’m not throwing it away because I _might_ feel something more for a girl I met at a bar.”

 

“So why are you telling me this then?” Meredith locked her gaze with Addison, noticing the remorse in her eyes. _They weren’t dating,_ but something about this still hurt. However, she had no righteous reason to be mad. It wasn’t exactly something you tell someone you meet at a bar, nevertheless, someone you never expect to see again.

“Because… you should know. Because I think, I might like you.”

 

She. Might. Like. Her?

 

Dumbfounded, she stared at the woman. Addison looked like she was about to cry and Meredith hated the fact that she was partially the reason why. However, as much as she would love to the bigger person and forgive the other woman for the new revelation… it was a lot to process.

They weren’t dating or anything, but it still felt as if she had done something wrong.

 

“Thank you for telling me, Dr. Montgomery.” Finally, she spoke before pushing past the other woman and exiting the supply closet.

 

Tears rolled down her cheeks, her head bowing as she moved frantically until she was running.

 

This was going to be a long day, and they hadn’t even started yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I just wanted them to hook up in the supply closet... clearly, these women have a mind of their own.


End file.
